Dear Barack, I was reading about the STOCK Act which has been reintroduced in Congress after first being proposed in 2006. STOCK stands for Stop Trading on Congressional Knowledge. Under this rule, government workers would be banned from trading upon inside information. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Suddenly, the fantastic portfolio returns enjoyed by members of [...]
Letters to Barack: They’re Off!
November 14, 2011 By
Dear Barack, Good news from home for a change! Our “governor” Quinn has taken a stand against the unfettered proliferation of gambling in Illinois. He feels “some” is okay, but not “a lot,” without actually quantifying either amount. The “Race” will decide that! He says he doesn’t want Illinois to become known as the “Las [...]
Letters to Barack: Bob and Blykstom
November 11, 2011 By
Dear Barack, What a coincidence! I was having lunch with Blykstom when Bob walked in. You remember them! Bob is a teacher in the local high school and Blykstom is the visitor from Mars – where they made such radical educational improvements. It was awkward, to say the least. The last subject I wanted brought [...]
Letters to Barack: Education on Mars
November 10, 2011 By
Dear Barack, I’ve been spending more time with Blykstom, that Martian who is visiting Illinois. You remember him! The guy you sent an IPOD to that had all your speeches recorded on it. Funny thing, though – after he listened to it for a few minutes, he asked if you were from some other planet! [...]
Letters to Barack: Blykstom
November 4, 2011 By
Dear Barack, You won’t believe this, but Martians have landed in Illinois. I’m afraid we treated them rather rudely, however. Everyone fled the state! Wait a minute….everyone was fleeing anyway in search of jobs and prosperity. I introduced myself to one of them, a rather pleasant fellow named Blykstom, so as to assure him that [...]
Letters to Barack: When Teachers Cheat
November 2, 2011 By
Dear Barack, More bad news from home, I’m afraid! It’s been reported that there are “irregularities” in recording student test scores in Illinois. Now, this doesn’t seem to be on the scale of the widespread cheating by teachers and superintendents in Georgia, but anyone who lives in Illinois naturally suspects that this difference is not [...]
Letters to Barack: Distant Drums
October 31, 2011 By
Dear Barack, You won’t believe it, but I ran into my friend Bob again – remember the teacher at the local high school? I think he’s starting to crack! He says he’s been hearing the sound of drums, faint at first, and growing slowly and steadily louder. He says they are coming from all directions [...]
Letters to Barack: The Bully Pulpit
October 27, 2011 By
Dear Barack, I was disturbed by your comment in your last letter that you “didn’t think anyone was even listening to you anymore.” Now, Barack, you know that isn’t true, even though you claimed….what did you say? Anyway, people are just ignoring you on matters of fiscal policy, foreign relations, jobs, the economy, healthcare, and [...]
Letters to Barack: The Teacher’s Pension Fund
October 25, 2011 By
Dear Barack, Poor Bob! You remember that friend of mine who teaches in a local high school and was so worried about his pension? He cheered up a little when he remembered that TRS, the Teachers Retirement Fund, had almost $40 billion in it. Surely that is enough to pay his pension! I know, Barack, [...]
Letters to Barack: “Trader Dick” Durbin
Dear Barack, Yes! We’ve all read in one of our local papers about the insider trading going on among Congressmen and their staffers, including our estimable Senator Dick Durbin. Now, this sort of thing doesn’t really surprise us. After all, Congress has an 11% approval rating and a body does not earn that level of [...]